Expectations and boundaries are everywhere—in every corner of our lives, visible and invisible.
Expectations can sometimes play the role of bullies, and to them, our boundaries are mere obstacles. It’s like a constant tug-o-war. Sometimes people demand more than we can provide, or we end up giving more than we’ve got in the tank.
We find ourselves triggered, traumatized, and torn when we’re unclear about where our boundaries lie. It takes real guts and grit to recognize and honor these limits.
Holding onto the expectation that you have to please and deliver for everyone is exhausting… and not a good use of energy.
Expectations flood in from every direction – on our time, our output, and our integrity.
Internal Family Systems (IFS) reveals the different parts within us, each playing its part in a bigger system that either respects, sets, or ignores the boundaries based on our unique experiences.
Viewing it through the IFS lens, expectations and boundaries can actually come together in harmony and create something beautiful. It’s all about listening and understanding why they act the way they do within our internal systems.
When we talk about "work" – both the internal healing work and the external work of pushing forward a vision – it’s clear our inner parts are in play. Our expectations and boundaries are right there with us!
Navigating and learning to build a healthy relationship INSIDE our system will reverberate out into the EXTERNAL environment we engage in.
The first step is listening, and loving our parts as we begin to understand them.
Here’s where working with a coach can be a game-changer. Coaches help us explore and understand these internal and external expectations and boundaries.
They guide us through our internal landscapes, helping us to listen, respect, and love the various parts of ourselves. This journey doesn’t just help us manage personal challenges but also equips us to handle professional pressures with greater clarity and effectiveness.
Ultimately, by embracing and balancing these dynamics, we don’t just find personal peace; we also lead more authentically and build businesses that are not only sustainable but truly transformational.
We become better at managing external demands when we’re aligned internally—empowered by a profound, compassionate understanding of our own limits and strengths.
WRITING PROMPT:
What are some of the expectations you have of yourself?
In your personal life & professionally
How do those feel when you sit with each of them?
What emotion stirs in you?
Is there a physical sensation that comes with the feeling?
Is there an internal voice that narrates?
Are there boundaries that feel challenged by your expectations?
Is there one expectation you would like to soften or release?
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